#DearMe

Dear Nine Year Old Me,

It is not the world that changes, it is your perspective.

 Don't fear your peers, or the fact that the people your age are going to be a bunch of jerks. I'll say it now, because from now as you are until you get into high school, the only people you should trust or even like is your mom and your brother. Everyone else is going to put you down so they can feel better about themselves or just generally poke fun at your failure.

Perfection isn't what you should aim for. Not at nine and not at ninety. That being said, I'm only eleven years older than you are. You have plenty of years to make mistakes, but the one thing I do ask is that you never walk with regret. Life is too short to do something regrettable, to wallow in things you don't need to be saddened about. I don't regret interacting with many of the events that passed me by. Those events, the things I did and did not do made me who I am. And I am mostly happy now.

Your teachers are going to be against you, and that will make it feel like the entire world is as well. But, you don't have to carry that weight on your own, even though I know you're strong enough to be able to do it. You are strong, and you are going to get through what lies ahead. I know that the worst that's going on now for you is that a couple of boys are calling you names and throwing pebbles. It will get worse. The bruises dealt won't be able to be seen and hiding their pain is something you have to decided when and when not to do.

You will face witches in the devilish sense of the word and then you will face the flying monkeys that the wicked control. You won't be able to control any of this no matter the begging and pleading you have the ability to do.

At times, no one will believe any of these things will happen to you. Sometimes, you might start to think that your perpetual sorrow is actually the natural state of this world. It isn't. And when no one believes you, I want you to believe in yourself and that you aren't the mad one. I know at times you should feel ashamed for what you've done, but that does not mean you are a liar, a cheat, pitiful, or broken.

There will be times when you will be alone. Sometimes, it's better if you're alone. Sometimes, it's not. Things of this nature are not always going to be optimal, and no amount of wallowing in self-pity will do anything to the situation. And when you're not holding the world up on your own, you're sharing the weight of it with your mom. She is holding up an even bigger world at the same time she's helping you, so don't be ungrateful for that.

Whatever the next years hold for you, know that even if you can't sometimes imagine waking up to face the world tomorrow, you can and usually you will. Pick up your chin and walk with your head held high; it's the best strategy you have. The world will hurt you. But don't play by its rules, be better than that. Infuriate it by not letting it get what it wants, by not letting it see your tears or your failure. Your best hope is happiness, is wisdom and valour. It's never giving up.

Always and forever,
Your Future Self